The Rat Race

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UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS

Preamble

Whereas recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world,

Whereas disregard and contempt for human rights have resulted in barbarous acts which have outraged the conscience of mankind, and the advent of a world in which human beings shall enjoy freedom of speech and belief and freedom from fear and want has been proclaimed as the highest aspiration of the common people,

Whereas it is essential, if man is not to be compelled to have recourse, as a last resort, to rebellion against tyranny and oppression, that human rights should be protected by the rule of law,

Whereas it is essential to promote the development of friendly relations between nations,

Whereas the peoples of the United Nations have in the Charter reaffirmed their faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person and in the equal rights of men and women and have determined to promote social progress and better standards of life in larger freedom,

Whereas Member States have pledged themselves to achieve, in co-operation with the United Nations, the promotion of universal respect for and observance of human rights and fundamental freedoms,

Whereas a common understanding of these rights and freedoms is of the greatest importance for the full realization of this pledge,

Now, Therefore THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY proclaims THIS UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS as a common standard of achievement for all peoples and all nations, to the end that every individual and every organ of society, keeping this Declaration constantly in mind, shall strive by teaching and education to promote respect for these rights and freedoms and by progressive measures, national and international, to secure their universal and effective recognition and observance, both among the peoples of Member States themselves and among the peoples of territories under their jurisdiction.

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CONVENTION ON INTERNATIONAL TRADE IN ENDANGERED SPECIES OF WILD FAUNA AND FLORA

The Contracting States,

Recognizing that wild fauna and flora in their many beautiful and varied forms are an irreplaceable part of the natural systems of the earth which must be protected for this and the generations to come;

Conscious of the ever-growing value of wild fauna and flora from aesthetic, scientific, cultural, recreational and economic points of view;

Recognizing that peoples and States are and should be the best protectors of their own wild fauna and flora;

Recognizing, in addition, that international co-operation is essential for the protection of certain species of wild fauna and flora against over-exploitation through international trade;

Convinced of the urgency of taking appropriate measures to this end;

Have agreed as follows:

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Rodents & Regulations

These days, interest, both foreign & domestic, has hit an all-time high over the question of Peshawar’s mysterious rat infestation. Speculations have been circulating in the media since Heaven-Knows-When about the creatures’ size, strength & ferocity, with most locals firmly maintaining that these huge rodents were definitely not natives. The situation became even graver when the rats started chewing through people’s doors, jumping on to their sleeping children’s cribs & badly injuring the poor little things (or worse). People complained with even more urgency, but nobody was particularly concerned about the fact that the people of one small, not-terribly-wealthy city in this wide world were under attack by creatures that weren’t covered by counter-terrorism laws, which are generally aimed at higher intellects than rodents.

Most folks hinted strongly that the problem fell squarely into the jurisdiction of the honorable people who constitute the Peshawar Local Government. As everyone already knows, the head of the group made a valiant attempt to rise to the occasion by offering a financial incentive to the professional exterminators of Peshawar, but that deal fizzled out when the reality of actually paying eventually hit him. Most folks felt extremely disappointed at the result of an apparently promising solution with some placing the blame squarely on the water & sanitation authorities & others grumblingly wondering why the alien bite marks & other symptoms hadn’t triggered any response from the health authorities.

But, in reality, if the majority opinion is correct & the rats are really “foreigners” – according to some descriptions, it is suspected that they are members of a species native to Madagascar, named the Malagasy Giant Rat (Hypogeomys antimena) – it would automatically imply that local experts in both zoology & medicine would lack the knowledge to either accurately identify or frame an appropriate response to this scourge. On top of that, if local professionals or policy-makers were even remotely suspicious that the current infestation consists of imported creatures, their instincts would (incorrectly) tell them to insist that, to the best of their knowledge & belief, they assumed they were dealing with a purely local hazard, not realizing that they aren’t covering themselves legally, they are covering the tracks of whoever is the party responsible for smuggling the creatures all the way from Africa to Pakistan.

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Questions? Comments?

The situation poses the following questions:
1. Do the UNEP & the WHO have the legal jurisdiction to take cognisance of & open an investigation into a flora/fauna/health hazard without a formal invitation from a national government?
2. Does the Universal Declaration Of Human Rights cover a human being’s right not to be injured or poisoned by wild animals?
3. Does the Convention On International Trade In Endangered Species Of Wild Fauna And Flora cover the illegal transportation of endangered species that don’t move via conventional routes?
4. Would it be a graver offense to declare the rats alien to this region or simply plead incompetence to deal with an ordinary local issue?
5. If the rats’ origin is proven to be a foreign country, who would be liable for the monetary compensation/damages due to the affectees of the rat-bite cases in Pakistan?